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Lección Noventa y siete (97)

  Chistes Jokes.
1 ¿Qué  le ha pasado al negro? (1).
— Que le han abierto la cabeza.
— What has happened to the negro?
— [That] they have cracked [opened] his head.
2 ¡Vaya!... ¡que se la cosan!... ¡que le den unos puntos (2)!...
— Sí... pero es que no tenemos más que hilo blanco.
By Jove! Let them sew it up, let them make two stitches (to it).
— Yes but [it is that] we have only white thread!
3 Una barca en que iban dos negros volcó y uno de ellos llegó nadando a la orilla. A boat in which were [went] two negroes upset and one of them reached the shore swimming.
4 ¿Qué haces? le preguntaron (3) ¿ no salvas al compañero? What do you do, they asked him, you don't save your companion?
5 Primero me había de salvar a mí, ahora que estoy salvo, le voy a salvar a él. First I had to save [at] myself; now that I am saved, I am going to save [at] him.
6 No sé que daría por saber lo que hay que hacer
para no darse martillazos (4) en los dedo
I don't know what I should give to know what one has to do
not to give oneself hammer-strokes on one's fingers?
7 Muy sencillo : agarre (5) usted el martillo con las dos manos... Very simple : seize the hammer with both hands.
8 ¿Qué opina usted de Juanito (6)?
— Que es medio idiota (7).
What do you think of Johnny?
— That he is half silly.
9 — Pues se quiere casar conmigo.
— Entonces es idiota del todo (8).
Well he wants to marry me.
— Then he is quite silly.

  En el estanco. At the tobacconist's shop.
1 Caballero, ¿me puede usted decir dónde encontraré un estanco cerca de aquí? Sir, could you tell me where I shall find a tobacconist's near here?
2 Con mucho gusto; no lo tiene usted muy lejos :
sigue usted en la misma dirección, luego toma la primera bocacalle a la derecha y a los veinte pasos ha de encontrarlo...
With pleasure; you have one [it] not very far;
you go on in the same direction, then you take the first street [-entrance] on the right and after twenty paces you are going to find it.
3 Señorita, ¿me hace el favor de una cajetilla de pitillos?
— ¿ De cuánto, señor?
— De peseta.
Miss will you give me [do you do the favour] a packet of cigarettes?
— At what price [of how much], sir?
— [At] one peseta.
4 A ese precio los hay de dos clases, unos emboquillados y otros no. At that price there are two kinds, the ones with stiff [cardboard] ends and the others without [no],
5 Como ya tengo boquilla tomaré éstos. — As I have a cigarette-holder, I shall take these.
6 ¿Qué precio tienen esos puros?
— Son de seis reales cada uno.
(At) what price are [have] those cigars?
— They are [at] 6 reals each.
7 ¿ Me quiere enseñar algunas pitilleras de las que tiene expuestas en el escaparate?
— Aquí tengo las mismas, señor, escoja usted.
Will you show me a few cigarette-cases, [of] those you have in display [keep displayed] in the window?
— I have the same here, sir; your choice.
7 ¿Qué vale ésta de plata?
— Veinte pesetas.
— ¿Y la de cuero?
— Diez pesetas, señor.
 — Bueno, para hoy me contentaré con ésta.
How much is the silver one?
— 20 p.
— And the leather one?
— 10 p.
— Good; for to-day I shall be content with this one.
8 ¿Manda usted otra cosa, señor?
— Sí, unas postales, con vistas del pueblo y de la región.
— Aquí tiene Vd. un álbum, señor, con los precios marcados para cada serie.
[Do you order] anything more, sir?
— Yes, postcards with views of the town and region.
— Here is an album, sir, with the price marked for each series.

1 If, on one hand, Spanish very seldom uses subject pronouns, you may have noticed, on the other hand, it very often uses redundantly the object pronouns le, la, lo : What happened to him, the negro?
Le he dicho a tu amigo que... I told it to your friend that..
— Remember : lo sé todo, I know everything, liter. : I know it everything.
Dios lo ve todo, God sees [it] everything.
2 Dar unos puntos, to make stitches; another example of dar (to give) meaning to do.
Cf. : dar un paseo, dar una vuelta (a walk, a stroll).
3 Le preguntaron, lit. : they asked him.
As in English, the 3rd person plural is used for an impersonal subject (like one, or people, or somebody).
Dicen, they say; cuentan que, they tell that...
4 Martillazo, a stroke of the hammer, from martillo, with suffix -azo meaning a stroke.
5 Agarrar, to grasp, grip, derived from garra, claw, talon is more expressive than coger, to seize (with motion or effort), and than tomar, to take (without effort).
6 Juanito, dimin. of Juan, John.
The diminutive, which, as you must have noticed, is very frequently used in Sp., does not always imply smallness or youth; very often, it is simply endearing, when you speak of somebody or something with sympathy, affection or familiarity. It is the case here for Juanito, this good friend, John.
7 Medio idiota, half silly.
Medio, when used before adjectives or participles is invariable :
esta mujer es medio loca, this woman is half mad.

With a verb, you must say a medias :
No me gusta hacer las cosas a medias, I don't like to do things by halves.
8 Del todo, quite, completely, wholly.
  Bocacalle means only the entrance of a street.
Crossroads is : una encrucijada.
— The real is worth 25 centimes.
— A few more smokers (fumadores) articles :
la pipa, the pipe; el cenicero, ash-tray; el mechero, or encendedor, the lighter.