| IF... The adventures of a gaijin in Tokyo |
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| Kare ga mada watashi no soba ni ite kuretara, donna ni shiawase deshoo .... | If he were still with me, how happy I'd be .... |
| Ano hi watashi ga osoku made zangyoo o shinakattara, kare wa hitori de sanpo o shinakatta deshoo .... | If I hadn't worked late at the office that day, then he wouldn't have gone out for a walk .... |
| Kare ga sanpo o shinakattara, ano otoko ni deawanakatta deshoo .... | If he hadn't gone out for a walk, then he wouldn't have met that man... |
| Ano otoko ni deawanakereba, resutoran ni ikanakatta deshoo .... | If he hadn't met that man, he wouldn't have gone to the restaurant.... |
| Kare ga resutoran ni ikanakattara ... | And if he hadn't gone to the restaurant, then ... |
| Naoko sighs and for the thousandth time she retraces the fateful series of events that brought HIM to Tokyo. | |
| Nihon ni ryuugaku shinai to, hontoo no nihongo o oboeraremasen. | If you don't study in Japan you'll never learn real Japanese. |
| Yes, Jim was impatient to learn.... | |
| Nihon ni iku to suru to, doko ga omoshiroi desu ka? | If I do go to Japan, where's an interesting place to go? |
| Daitokai e iku to, oozei no sarariiman ya ooeru ga imasu. | If you go to a big city, there are lots of salarymen and female office workers. |
| Kyooto ni ittara, takusan no otera o miru koto ga dekimasu. | If you go to Kyoto you'll see lots of temples. |
| Jim had a very profound world view.... | |
| Furukereba, omoshiroku nai. | If it's old, it's boring. |
| So, one week later, Jim came to Tokyo and rented a cheap little apartment .... | |
| Apaato ga semakunakereba ii no ni ... | If only the apartment wasn't quite so small ... |
| Gokiburi ga inakereba ii no ni ... | If only there weren't any cockroaches ... |
| He found life difficult. | |
| Sometimes he found his apartment just too claustrophobic, and set off to experience the buzz of central Tokyo. | |
| Out of the frying pan, into the fire ... | |
| Konde inakereba tanoshii no ni ... | If only it wasn't so crowded, I might like it.... |
| On just one such occasion, we met. | |
| It was love at first sight... | |
| Hima dattara, issho ni kooen o sanpo shimasen ka. | If you're free, will you go for a walk in the park with me? |
| And our love blossomed and flowered among the withering autumn leaves .... | |
| Moshi, kareshi ga inakereba, watashi no kanojo ni natte kudasai. | If you don't have a boyfriend, please be my girl! |
| We were so happy, so much in love.... | |
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But I still had to go to work. I often worked late, and that day I was supposed to meet Jim at his place at 6.30, but I just couldn't get away. |
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| Jim got sick of waiting—he always said I was exploited by the company—so he went out for a walk. | |
| Kare ga amerikajin nara, eigoryoku o migaku koto ga dekiru. | If he's American, I can brush up my English skills. |
| Some guy he'd never met before invited him out... | |
| Jikan ga attara, issho ni shokuji demo shimasen ka? | If you've got time, why not have dinner with me? |
| Takakattara, boku wa ikemasen. | If it's expensive, I can't go. |
| Daijoobu. Watashi ga haraimasu kara. | Don't worry, I'll pay! |
| To a fugu —blowfish—restaurant... | |
| Yasukereba, fugu wa abunai desu. | If it's cheap, blowfish is dangerous. |
| Dakedo takakereba, anzen desu. | But if it's expensive it's safe. |
| Shokuji o nokosu to shitsurei desu yo. | If you don't finish everything up it's bad manners, you know. |
| I got back pretty ... about 12:00 PM | |
| Kare ga roku-ji han kara matte iru to shitara, iraira shite iru deshoo. | If he's been waiting since 6:30, he'll be in a pretty foul mood I guess. |
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7:30 PM I've gone to dinner at Shishi FUFU. Back late. |
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l knew that place. It was famous .... ... famous for the fact that the cooks didn't know how to remove the blowfish's poison ducts properly, famous for... |
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Hyooban ga warui ano Shishi-ya ni itta nara, ABUNAI. |
If he's gone to the notorious Shishi Restaurant he's in danger! |
| un un un un.... | |
| Oh my God! Jim!!! | |
| It was too late! | |
| Makudonarudo ni ikeba yokatta ... | I should have gone to McDonald's ... |
| Anata ga fugu o tabenakattara, watashi wa hitori bocchi ni naranakatta deshoo. | If you hadn't eaten the blowfish, I wouldn't be so alone now! |
| Anata ga hihon ni konakereba yokatta... | If only you had never come to Japan... |
| Dakedo, anata ga nihon ni konakatta to shitara... | But if you had never come to Japan... |
| Anata ni awanakatta deshoo. | I would never have met you. |
| Chinseizai o utanai kagiri, ochitsukimasen ne. | If you don't give her sedatives, she never calms down. |
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Moshimo.... Moshimo.... Moshimo.... Moshimo.... |