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Learn Chinese Online Short Story 我身后的眼睛 The Eyes Behind Me (Elementary)


我身后的眼睛 [1] The Eyes Behind Me
wǒ shēnhu de yǎn-jīng [1]  
有一双眼睛, 在我的身后注视着我. A pair of eyes were watching me from behind.
yǒu yī shuāng yǎnjing, zi wǒ de shēnhu zhsh zhe wǒ.  
它让我感到不安. They made me feel uneasy.
tā rng wǒ gǎndo bān.  
从那天下班开始, 我就感觉到它的存在. It all started when I was on my way back from work that day.
cng ntiān xibān kāishǐ, wǒ ji gǎnjudo tā de cnzi.  
那晚回到家, 我把我的感觉告诉了老公. I told my husband about the feeling that evening.
n wǎn hudo jiā, wǒ bǎ wǒ de gǎnju gosu le lǎogong.  
你没转过身看看是谁吗?
老公问.
Didnt you turn around to see who it was?, he asked.
nǐ mi zhun gu shēn knkan sh shi ma?
lǎogong wn.
 
看了,可路上那么多人.
我不知道它是谁.
I did. But there were so many people on the road,
I didnt know who it was.,
kn le, kě lshang nme duō rn.
wǒ b zhīdo tā sh shi.
 
我不安地回答. I answered uneasily.
wǒ bān de hud.  
老公接着问:
你的背后没有眼睛,
你怎么会知道有人在盯着你?
He continued You dont have eyes in the back of your head.
How could you know someone was watching you from behind?
lǎogong jiēzhe wn:
nǐ de bihu miyǒu yǎnjing,
nǐ zěnme hu zhīdo yǒurn zi dīng zhe nǐ?
 
不仅是盯着我, 而且还跟着我.
我更加不安地回答.
Not just watching me, but also following me.
I answered more uneasily.
bjǐn sh dīng zhe wǒ, rqiě hi gēnzhe wǒ.
wǒ gngjiā bān de hud.
 
可是你转过身又不知道是谁?
老公帮我把话说完.
But once you looked back you couldnt figure out who it was?,
my husband completed my sentence.
kěsh nǐ zhun gu shēn yu b zhīdo sh shi?
lǎogong bāng wǒ bǎ hushuō wn.
 
我点点头,说,是这样. I nodded. Exactly.
wǒ diǎndiǎntu, shuō, sh zhyng.  
这时, 女儿扑到老公的怀里, 要抱抱. At that time, our daughter ran into his arms, begging for a hug.
zhsh, nǚr pū do lǎogong de hui lǐ, yo bobo.  
要不要我明天送你上班?
老公抱着女儿, 笑着问我.
Do you need my company on your way to work tomorrow?,
he asked with a smile while holding the girl.
yo bu yo wǒ mngtiān sng nǐ shngbān?
lǎogong bo zhe nǚr, xio zhe wn wǒ.
 
不用了, 我上下班路上都有很多人,
我尽量跟着人群走就是了
也许, 这只是我的幻觉.
No thanks. There are lots of people on my way to work.
I can walk with the crowd.
Maybe its just my imagination.
buyng le, wǒ shngxibān lshang dōu yǒu hěn duō rn,
wǒ jnling gēnzhe rnqn zǒu jish le
yěxǔ, zh zhǐsh wǒ de hunju.
 
我开始觉得自己真有点可笑. I started to realize that how ridiculous I was.
wǒ kāishǐ jude zjǐ zhēn yǒudiǎn kěxio.  
老公摸着女儿的脑袋, 继续问道:
最近工作太累了吧?
He put his hand on the girls head and continued talking to me,
Tired of your work lately?
lǎogong mō zhe nǚr de nǎodi, jx wndo:
zujn gōngzu ti li le ba?
 
是有点儿累! 幻觉都累出来了.
我似乎为自己找到了解释.
I guess so. Ive even started seeing things.
It looks like I just found out the reason.
sh yǒudiǎnr li! hunju dōu li chūli le.
wǒ shū wi zjǐ zhǎodo le jiěsh.
 

2  
于是, 我早早地睡下了. So I went to bed early.
ysh, wǒ zǎo zǎo de shu xi le.  
第二天一早, 精神好多了. The next day, I felt much better.
drtiān yīzǎo, jīngshn hǎoduō le.  
把女儿送到学校后,
我就坐地铁到了市中心.
After I dropped my daughter off at school,
I took the subway downtown.
bǎ nǚr sng do xuxio hu,
wǒ ji zu dtiě dole shzhōngxīn.
 
从地铁站到公司要在市区走二十多分钟. There is about twenty-minute walk from subway station to my company.
cng dtiězhn do gōngsī yo zi shqū zǒu rshduō fēn zhōng.  
我尽量和上班的人群走在一起. I tried to walk with the crowd as much as I could.
wǒ jnling h shngbān de rnqn zǒu ziyīqǐ.  
可是没过多长时间, 那种感觉又来了!! But not long after that the feeling came back!!
kěsh mi gu duōchng shjiān, nzhǒng gǎnju yulile!!  
是的, 是有一双眼睛在盯着我,
这绝对不是幻觉!
Yes, there was a pair of eyes that were watching me,
this was not my imagination!
shde, sh yǒu yī shuāng yǎnjing zi dīng zhe wǒ,
zh judu bsh hunju!
 
下一个路口右转就是书店的大门. The next right turn was the entrance to a book store.
xiyīge lkǒu yuzhuǎn jish shūdin de dmn.  
我刚一右转就躲进了书店的门口. I hid inside the entrance as soon as I had made the right turn.
wǒ gāngyī yuzhuǎn ji duǒ jn le shūdin de mnkǒu.  
我睁大了眼睛, 看着身后的人流从我面前走过. I opened my eyes wide, watching the people that were behind me pass by.
wǒ zhēng d le yǎnjing, kn zhe shēnhu de rnli cng wǒ minqin zǒugu.  
突然,
一个穿黑色风衣的身影在右转后的路口停了下来.
Suddenly,
a figure in a black coat stopped right at the corner.
tūrn,
yī g chuān hēis fēngyī de shēnyǐng zi yuzhuǎn hu de lkǒu tng le xilai.
 
那双失去了目标的眼睛焦急地东张西望,
直到它最终发现了书店门口的我.
The eyes that had lost their target were searching around anxiously,
until they spotted me at the book store entrance.
n shuāng shīq le mbiāo de yǎnjing jiāoj d dōngzhāngxīwng,
zhdo tā zuzhōng fāxin le shūdin mnkǒu de wǒ.
 
在他的注视下, 我突然无语. Under his gaze, I was speechless all of a sudden.
zi tā de zhsh xi, wǒ tūrn wyǔ.  
四目相对, 他竟然也呆住了. When our eyes met, he was stupefied too.
s m xiāngdu, tā jngrn yě dāizh le.  
曾以为这一生都不会再与他相见!

I thought I could never meet him again in my whole lifetime!

cng yǐwi zh yīshēng dōu bhu zi yǔ tā xiāngjin!  
可是这一刻, 他是这样真实地面对着我! However at that moment, he was facing me and so real!

kěsh zh yī k, tā sh zhyng zhēnshde mindu zhe wǒ!

 
是你吗?对面的他问我. Is that you?, he asked me.
sh nǐ ma? dumin de tā wn wǒ.  

3  
是我. Yes, its me.
sh wǒ.  
我的心跳开始加速. My heart pounded fast.
wǒ de xīntio kāishǐ jiās.  
我吓到你了吗?对不起! Did I scare you? Sorry.
wǒ xi do nǐ le ma? du b qǐ!  
又看到了那曾经熟悉的微笑. Once again I saw the smile that I used to be so familiar with.
yu kn do le n cngjīng shxī de wēixio.  
他一步步向我走来. He came up to me closer and closer.
tā yī b b xing wǒ zǒu li.  
还未开门的书店门口给了我们一块小小的空间. The still-shut book store gave us a little space to stand.
hi wi kāimn de shūdin mnkǒu gěi le wǒ men yī kui xiǎo xiǎo de kōngjiān.  
你为什么不跟我打招呼? Why didnt you say hello to me?
nǐ wi shn me b gēn wǒ dǎ zhāohū?  
我问他,
看着那双和记忆中一样明亮的眼睛.
I asked him,
gazing into those eyes that were as bright as the way they were in my memories.
wǒ wn tā,
kn zhe ni shuāng h jy zhōng yī yng mngling de yǎnjīng.
 
十三年了 我不敢是不是你. It has been thirteen years, I couldnt tell whether it was you.
sh sān nin le wǒ b gǎn qudng sh b sh nǐ.  
他就站在我的身边,
我已经能闻到他身上的味道.

He stand beside me,
I already could smell his body's flavour.

tā ji zhn zi wǒ de shēnbiān,
wǒ yǐjīng nng wndo tā shēn shng de wido.
 
岁月啊! Time flies!
su yu a!  
有十三年了吗? 我变老了吧? Thirteen years already? I must have grown old.
yǒu sh sān nin le? wǒ binlǎo le ba?  
我避开他的眼睛. I escaped his eyes.
wǒ bkāi tā de yǎn jīng.  
不. 你比那个时候更有风韵. 他笑了. No. You have more charms than in those days. He smiled.
b. nǐ bǐ n g shhu gng yǒu fēngyn. tā xio le.  
我努力让自己平静:你 什么时候来的? I tried to stay calm: When did you come here?
wǒ nǔl rng zjǐ pngjng: nǐ shnme shhu lide?  
前几天. 来出差.
昨天下午在路上就看到你,
一直想确定是不是你.
A few days ago, on a business trip,
I saw you on the street since yesterday afternoon.
I was trying to figure out whether it was you.
qin jĭ tiān. li chū chāi.
zutiān xiwǔ zi lshng ji kn do nǐ,
yī zh xiǎng qudng sh b sh nǐ.
 
我用手拉了拉衣领.
他注意到我无名指上的戒指.
I pulled my collar together,
he noticed the ring on my finger.
wǒ yng shǒu lā le lā yīlǐng.
tā zhy do wǒ wmngzhǐ shng de jizhǐ.
 
他把眼光移开, 问我: He turned his head away, and asked me again:
tā bǎ yǎnguāng ykāi, wn wǒ:  
你正赶着上班吧? Are you hurrying to work?
nǐ zhng gǎn zhe shngbān ba?  
我点了点头. I nodded.
wǒ diǎn le diǎn tu.  
那今晚能不能请你吃饭?
就当我是老同学 可以吗?
May I invite you for dinner tonight?
As an old classmate of you may I?
n jīnwǎn nng b nng qǐng nǐ chī fn?
ji dāng wǒ sh lǎotngxu kěyǐ ma?
 
他无声地等待着我的回答.
He waited for my reply quietly.
. .
tā wshēng de děngdāi zhe wǒ de hudā.
 
好吧. 我说, 那六点半在这见? OK, I said, lets meet here at 6:30?
hǎo bā. wǒ shuō, n, li diǎn bn zi zh jin?  
一言为定.  
yī yn wi dng. Deal.

4  
那是多么漫长的一天. Such a long day that was!
nshi duōme mnchng de yī tiān.  
一上午的会议, 我总是在不停地走神. That morning was all meetings. My mind kept wandering somewhere else.
yī shngwǔ de huy, wǒ zǒngsh zi btng d zǒushn.  
中午的时候, 我给老公去了电话. At noon, I called my husband.
zhōngwǔ de shhou, wǒ gěi lǎogong q le dinhu.  
我告诉他晚上要加班, 会晚回来,
让他带女儿去她最喜欢的必胜客吃晚餐.
I told him I had to work late that evening,
and asked him to bring our daughter to her favorite Pizza Hut for dinner.
wǒ gosu tā wǎnshang yo jiābān, hu wǎn hulai,
rng tā di nǚr q tā zu xǐhuan de Bshng K chī wǎncān.
 
放下电话, 我又开始出神. When I put down the phone, my mind started to drift again.
fngxia dinhu, wǒ yu kāishǐ chūshn.  
十三年了, 他这十三年又是怎样度过的呢? Thirteen years! How had he been through all those years?
sh sān nin le, tā zh sh sān nin yu sh zěnyng dgu de ne?  
他的生活顺心吗? Had he been doing well?
tā de shēnghu shnxīn ma?  
他结婚了吗? Had he married?
tā jihūn le ma?  
他的父母怎么样了? What about his parents?
tā de fmǔ zěnmeyng le?  
我的脑海里充满了问题. My mind was full of questions.
wǒ de nǎohǎi lǐ chōngmǎn le wnt.  
六点二十五分, 我赶到了那个路口. 6:25, I arrived at the intersection.
li diǎn rsh wǔ fēn, wǒ gǎn doliǎo nge lkǒu.  
他比我还早. He was earlier than me.
tā bǐ wǒ hi zǎo.  
我们相视一笑. We smiled at each other.
wǒmen xiāng sh yī xio.  
就象十三年前,他总是先到. Just like thirteen years ago, he was always earlier than me.
ji xing sh sān ninqin, tā zǒngsh xiān do.  
我们打的去了一个离大学很近的餐馆. We took a taxi and went to a restaurant near the university.
wǒmen dǎdī q le yī g l dxu hěn jn de cānguǎn.  
是我选的地方,就象当年一样. I picked the place, just like thirteen years ago.
sh wǒ xuǎn de dfang, ji xing dāngnin yīyng.  
他点了菜, 都是我们当年爱吃的. He ordered from the menu for all that we used to love.
tā diǎn le ci, dōu sh wǒmen dāngnin i chī de.  
暗蓝的灯光下, 我仔细的打量着他. In the dim blue light, I looked at him carefully.
n ln de dēngguāng xi, wǒ zǐx de dǎliang zhe tā.  
他身上已没了当年的孩子气.
现在的他, 多了一份沧桑, 很男人.
Gone was that boyish look.
Today, he had gained a manful look.
tā shēnshang yǐ mile dāngnin de hiziq.
xinzi de tā, duō le yī fn cāngsāng, hěn nnrn.
 
过得还好吗? 我问. How have you been? I asked.
gud hihǎo ma? wǒ wn.  
嗯, 还行. Hmn, not bad.
n, hi xng.  
太太还好吗?我试探着问. And your wife? I explored a little.
titai hihǎo ma? wǒ shtn zhe wn.  
很好. Shes well.
hěn hǎo.  
你怎么样? 他问我. What about you?
nǐ zěnmeyng? tā wn wǒ.  
还行. Not bad.
hi xng.  
孩子多大了? How old is your child?
hizi duōd le?  
七岁. 你有小孩吗? Seven do you have children?
qī su. nǐ yǒu xiǎohi ma?  
还没呢, 我前年刚结的婚. Not yet, I got married last year.
hi mi ne, wǒ qinnin gāng ji de hūn.  
他停了筷子, 看着我. He put down his chopsticks and looked at me.
tā tng le kuizi, kn zhe wǒ.  
我想起了几年前听另一个同学说,
他尽管已拥有了自己的公司, 却一直没成家.
I remembered now, a few years ago, my old classmate had told me
that he was still single though he had already become a business owner.
wǒ xiǎngqǐ le jǐnin qin tīng lngyī g tngxu shuō,
tā jn-guǎn yǐ yōngyǒu le zjǐ de gōngsī, qu yīzh mi chngjiā.
 
他就那样看着我, 象要看懂我的心事. He looked at me, as if he was trying to read my mind.
tā ji nyng kn zhe wǒ, xing yo kndǒng wǒ de xīnsh.  
我们之间有过太多的无奈. Between the two of us, we had too many regrets.
wǒmen zhījiān yǒu gu ti duō de wni.  
你回去后为什么没给我回信?
我忍不住先问了.
After you returned home, why didnt you write back to me?
I couldnt help but ask.
nǐ huqu hu wishnme mi gěi wǒ huxn?
wǒ rěnbuzh xiān wn le.
 

5  
那是十三年前的夏天. That was in a summer thirteen years ago.
nshi shsān ninqin de xitiān.  
大学毕业的晚餐会上我和他都喝多了. Both of us had a good drink in the university graduation evening dinner party.
dxu by de wǎncān hu shng wǒ h tā dōu hē duō le.  
我拉着他的手, 逃离了晚餐会的嘈杂. I grabbed his hand and we escaped from the loud party together.
wǒ lā zhe tā de shǒu, tol le wǎncān hu de coz.  
我们来到东院的长青湖边,
紧紧地拥吻在一起
We came to the Chang Qing river in east campus.
We embraced each other and kissed.
wǒmen lido dōng yun de chng qīng hbiān,
jǐnjǐn de yōng wěn ziyīqǐ
 
昏暗的路灯下, 一阵凉风吹散了我们的醉意. Under the dim light, the cool breeze brought us back to the reality.
hūnn de ldēng xi, yīzhn ling fēng chuīsn le wǒmen de zu y.  
我搂着他的脖子, 忘情地看着他的脸. I draped my arms around his neck, gazing at him with all my love.
wǒ lǒu zhe tā de bzi, wngqng d kn zhe tā de liǎn.  
我们该怎么办? What about us?,
wǒmen gāi zěnmebn?  
我轻声问他. I whispered to him.
wǒ qīngshēng wn tā.  
你等我,等我找到工作, 安定下来,
我们再一起计划. 我会回来找你.
Wait for me. After I find a job and settle down,
we will plan together. I will come back here to find you.
nǐděng wǒ, děng wǒ zhǎodo gōngzu, āndng xilai,
wǒmen zi yīqǐ jhu. wǒ hu hulai zhǎo nǐ.
 
他的这句话一直印刻在我的心里. His words have been engraved in my heart since then.
tā de zh j hu yīzh yn k zi wǒ de xīnli.  
我们在大学里整整热恋了两年. Weve been passionately in love in that university for the whole two years.
wǒmen zi dxu lǐ zhěngzhěng rlin le liǎng nin.  
毕业在即,
他就要回南方的家乡小镇找工作了.
With the imminent graduation,
he would soon be on his way back to his small hometown in the south and look for a job.
by zij,
tā jiyo hu nnfāng de jiāxiāng xiǎo zhn zhǎo gōngzu le.
 
而我, 将仍然留在这个我从未离开过的城市. And I would still stay in the city that I had never ever left.
r wǒ, jiāng rngrn li zi zhge wǒ cngwi lkāi gu de chngsh.  
他的离去有两个必然:
一个是他的外地户口, 一个是他的母亲病重.
There were two inevitable reasons for his leaving:
his non-registered residence status, and his Moms illness.
tā de lq yǒu liǎng g brn:
yī g sh tā de wid hkǒu, yī g sh tā de mǔqīn bngzhng.
 
火车站台上难舍的离别,
为我们这段甜蜜的初恋划上了句号.
The heart-wrenching departure at the train platform
put an end to our sweet relationship.
huǒchēzhn tishng nn shě de lbi,
wi wǒmen zh dun tinm de chūlin hu shng le jho.
 
不过当时, 我们并不知道缘分已尽. Only at that time, we didnt know that was the end.
bgu dāngsh, wǒmen bngb zhīdo yunfn yǐ jn.  
我还痴痴地给他写信. 一封又一封. I wrote letters to him one after another.
wǒ hi chī chī de gěi tā xiěxn. yī fēng yu yī fēng.  
可是自始至终, 我没有收到他的只言片语. But I havent received a single word from him since then.
kěsh zshǐzhzhōng, wǒ miyǒu shōudo tā de zhǐynpinyǔ.  

6  
我给他家打电话, 无人接听. I called his home, but nobody picked up the phone.
wǒ gěi tā jiā dǎdinhu, wrn jiētīng.  
父母开始做我的工作, Then my parents began to talk to me,
fmǔ kāishǐ zu wǒ de gōngzu,  
你和他本来就不合适.
两家都只有一个孩子, 一个南, 一个北.
怎么生活到一起去?
You and he are not suitable for each other.
Both of our families are single-child families. One lives in the south, one lives in the north.
How could the two of you live together?
nǐ h tā běnli ji bhsh.
liǎng jiā dōu zhǐyǒu yī g hizi, yī g nn, yī g běi.
zěnme shēnghu do yīqǐ q?
 
我虽然反感他们的唠叨, 但内心里也开始挣扎. Although I was sick of their nagging, my mind started to struggle.
wǒ suīrn fǎngǎn tāmen de lodao, dn ni xīnli yě kāishǐ zhēngzh.  
这一去就没了音讯的他是不是已经变心? Was he seeing someone else that he even didnt care to send a word to me?
zh yī q ji mile yīnxn de tā shbsh yǐjīng binxīn?  
或者, 已经和现实妥协, 不再继续为我们的未来争取? Or had he already given up and didnt want to fight for our future together?
huzhě, yǐjīng h xinsh tuǒxi, bzi jx wi wǒmen de wili zhēngqǔ?  
我开始整夜整夜地失眠,痛哭, 抑郁。
我品尝到了失恋的滋味.
Then I started to lose my sleep night after night, weeping and depressed.
I experienced the bitter feeling of losing my love.
wǒ kāishǐ zhěngy zhěngy d shīmin, tngkū, yy。
wǒ pǐnchng doliǎo shīlin de zīwi.
 
后来,我索性换了份离家较远的工作,
在外面租了房子,
过起了真正的单身生活.
Thereafter I made up my mind to change to another job,
even further from my home.
I rented a place to live by myself and started a real single life.
huli, wǒ suǒxng hun le fn l jiā jio yuǎn de gōngzu,
zi wimin zū le fngzi,
gu qǐ le zhēnzhng de dānshēn shēnghu.
 
我现在的老公就在那时闯进了我的生活. My current husband came into my life since then.
wǒ xinzi de lǎogong ji zi nsh chuǎngjn le wǒ de shēnghu.  
你回去后. 为什么没给我回信? After you returned home why didnt you write to me?
nǐ huqu hu. wishnme mi gěi wǒ huxn?  
这是我长久以来一直想得到答案的问题。 This is the question that Ive been waiting for an anwser for so long.
zh sh wǒ chngjiǔ yǐli yīzh xiǎng ddo dn de wnt。  
在那个还没有英特网的年代,
书信和电话是我们唯一的联系。
At a time when the Internet did not exist in our life,
letters and phone calls were the only ways to keep us connected.
zi nge hi miyǒu Yīngtwǎng de nindi,
shūxn h dinhu sh wǒmen wiyī de linx。
 
我的问题象是击中了他的要害,
他身子向后一靠,吃了一惊.
My question was like a punch swung right at him.
He leaned back against his chair. He was surprised.
wǒ de wnt xing sh jīzhng le tā de yohi,
tā shēnzi xinghu yī ko, chī le yī jīng.
 
我的回信你一封都没有收到吗? 他反问我. You hadnt received even one letter from me?
wǒ de huxn nǐ yī fēng dōu miyǒu shōudo ma? tā fǎnwn wǒ.  
我肯定地摇了摇头. I shook my head with certainty.

wǒ kěndng de yo le yo tu.

 
他沉思了片刻. He paused for a moment,
tā chnsī le pink.  
我给你写过八封回信,
但在我给你写第九封信的时候,
我前面的回信都被一起退回来了.
I wrote eight letters to you.
When I was writing the ninth,
all my previous letters were mailed back to me in one parcel.
wǒ gěi nǐ xiě gu bā fēng huxn,
dn zi wǒ gěi nǐ xiě d jiǔ fēng xn de shhou,
wǒ qinmin de huxn dōu bi yīqǐ tu hulai le.
 
. 退回来的邮包里还有你父母给我写的便条. together with it, was a note from your parents.
. tu hulai de yubāo lǐ hiyǒu nǐ fmǔ gěi wǒ xiě de bintio.  

7  
我目瞪口呆地听着他的述说. I was listening to him dumbfounded.
wǒ mdngkǒudāi de tīng zhe tā de shshuō.  
意思是说, 他们坚决不同意我们的来往.
他们已做通你的工作,
希望我不要再与你来往.
What they meant was that they didnt agree with our relationship.
Theyve had a talk with you, and you understood too.
They hoped I could face the reality and put an end to our relationship.
ysi sh shuō, tāmen jiānju btng y wǒmen de liwǎng.
tāmen yǐ zu tōng nǐ de gōngzu,
xīwng wǒ byo zi yǔ nǐ liwǎng.
 
我妈当时病重, 在省城住院.
我和我爸轮流在医院守着.
剩下的时间我就在外面找工作.
所以家里经常没人.
My Mom was very sick and stayed in the city hospital at that time.
My Dad and I took turns to look after her in the hospital.
The rest of my time, I used to look for a job.
Thats why there were hardly anyone at my home during that period.
wǒ mā dāngsh bngzhng, zi shěngchng zhyun.
wǒ h wǒ b lnli zi yīyun shǒu zhe.
shngxi de shjiān wǒ ji zi wimin zhǎo gōngzu.
suǒyǐ jiā lǐ jīngchng mi rn.
 
我给你家打过电话, 你妈接的电话,
她让我不要再打了.
I called your home, your Mom picked up.
She told me not to call you again.
wǒ gěi nǐ jiā dǎ gu dinhu, nǐ mā jiē de dinhu,
tā rng wǒ byo zi dǎ le.
 
收到那个邮包后, 我很痛苦
但是, 我明白, 一个连工作都没有的男人,
能拿什么去争取呢?
After I received the parcel, I felt very sad.
However, I also understood, that if a man didnt even have a job to support himself,
what he could use to fight for his love?
shōudo nge yubāo hu, wǒ hěn tngkǔ
dnsh, wǒ mngbai, yī g lin gōngzu dōu miyǒu de nnrn,
nng n shnme q zhēngqǔ ne?
 
于是, 我给你父母写了封回信,
让他们给我一些时间, 等我有了稳定的工作,
会亲自上门拜访.
Then I wrote a letter back to your parents,
asking them to give me some time, once I found a job and did well,
I would come to visit them and talk to them.
ysh, wǒ gěi nǐ fmǔ xiě le fēng huxn,
rng tāmen gěi wǒ yīxiē shjiān, děng wǒ yǒule wěndng de gōngzu,
hu qīnz shngmn bifǎng.
 
当然, 他们并没有回信. Of course, they never wrote back.
dāngrn, tāmen bng miyǒu huxn.  
他停了停, 看向窗外的夜色. He stopped and looked at the night outside of the window.
tā tng le tng, kn xing chuāng wi de ys.  
这十三年来,
我一直以为是他主动放弃了我们的未来.
All these thirteen years,
Ive been thinking it was he who first let go of our possible future.
zh sh sān ninli,
wǒ yīzh yǐwi sh tā zhǔdng fngq le wǒmen de wili.
 
直到今天我才了解了真相! Only today I finally get to know exactly what happened in the past!
zhdo jīntiān wǒ ci liǎojiě le zhēnxing!  
我的天, 他们都做了些什么呀!? Oh my! What terrible things theyve done?!
wǒ de tiān, tāmen dōu zu le xiē shnme ya!?  
我感到羞耻, 感到愤怒. I felt ashamed and angry.
wǒ gǎndo xiūchǐ, gǎndo fnn.  
别怪他们, 他们也都是为了你好. Dont blame them, theyve done that for your sake.
bi gui tāmen, tāmen yě dōu sh wile nǐhǎo.  
我抬眼望着他,
他的目光中透着一丝温存, 一丝忧郁.
I looked up into his eyes.
What I saw was some tenderness and some sadness.
wǒ ti yǎn wng zhe tā,
tā de mguāng zhōng tu zhe yī sī wēncn, yī sī yōuy.
 
在那一刻, 我突然回想起人们常说的一句:
初恋是最美的, 也是最短暂的.
At that moment, I suddenly recalled a saying that was going around:
Our first love is always the most beautiful but the most fragile one.

zi n yī k, wǒ tūrn hu xiǎngqǐ rnmen chng shuō de yīj:
chūlin sh zu měi de, yě sh zu duǎnzn de.

 
他是我的初恋, 我, 也是他的初恋. He was my first love. I was his.
tā sh wǒ de chūlin, wǒ, yě sh tā de chūlin.  

8  
从餐馆出来, 已是满街灯火. When we stepped out of the restaurant, the street had been lit up with street lights.
cng cānguǎn chūli, yǐ sh mǎn jiē dēnghuǒ.  
初秋的风, 夹杂着街市的味道, 扑面而来. The breeze of early autumn, mixed with the smell of the city, gently stroked our face.
chū qiū de fēng, jiāz zhe jiē sh de widao, pūminrli.  
孩子在等你回去了吧? 他问. Perhaps your child is expecting you to come home now?, he asked.
hizi zi děng nǐ huqu le ba? tā wn.  
他们以为我今天加班. 我回答. They thought I worked late today., I answered.
tāmen yǐwi wǒ jīntiān jiābān. wǒ hud.  
哦 他顿了顿, 对不起. Oh, he paused for a second, Im sorry.
o tā dn le dn, dubuqǐ.  
你没有什么对不起我的地方
我停下了脚步, 面对着他.
You dont need to apologize for anything.,
I stopped and faced him.
nǐ miyǒu shnme dubuqǐ wǒ de dfang
wǒ tngxi le jiǎob, mindu zhe tā.
 
他也站住了. He stopped as well.
tā yě zhnzh le.  
我们去长青湖边走走好吗?我央求他. Can we have a walk to Chang Qing river?, I asked.
wǒmen q chng qīng hbiān zǒu zǒu hǎo ma? wǒ yāngqi tā.  
他点了点头. He nodded.
tā diǎn le diǎntu.  
长青湖的湖面闪着星星点点的光亮. The surface of Chang Qing river was scattered with sparkling lights.
chng qīng h de h min shǎn zhe xīngxing diǎndiǎn de guāngling.  
你母亲现在怎么样了?
我早该问他这个问题了.
How is your mother doing now?,
I should have asked this question earlier.
nǐ mǔqīn xinzi zěnmeyng le?
wǒ zǎo gāi wn tā zhge wnt le.
 
她在我回去的第二年就去世了.
那之后我也找到了工作.
She passed away the second year I returned.
sometime later I found a job.

tā zi wǒ huqu de dr nin ji qsh le.
n zhīhu wǒ yě zhǎodo le gōngzu.

 
真对不起. 我知道我的问候太迟了. Im so sorry. I know my condolences came too late.
zhēn dubuqǐ. wǒ zhīdo wǒ de wnhu ti chle.  
我工作刚满八个月就请假来过这里. After eight months of work, I actually came here once.
wǒ gōngzu gāng mǎn bā g yu ji qǐngji li gu zhlǐ.  
是吗? 我怎么不知道? Really? How come I didnt know?
sh ma? wǒ zěnme b zhīdo?  
我先住在王浩那里. I first stayed at Wang Haos when I came.
wǒ xiān zh zi wng ho nli.  
王浩说, 你如果是来玩, 就痛痛快快地玩,
别想别的.
Wang Hao said to me If you came here to spend your vacation, then please fully enjoy it,
and dont bother to think about anything else.
wng ho shuō, nǐ rguǒ sh li wn, ji tngtongkuikui de wn,
bi xiǎng bide.
 
如果是来找你以前的女朋友, 现在就回去. But if you came here to find your ex-girlfriend, then youd better go back now.
rguǒ sh li zhǎo nǐ yǐqin de nǚpngyou, xinzi ji huqu.  
我告诉他我就是来找我女朋友的,
想和她当面谈谈.
I told him I did come here to find my girlfriend,
and I wanted to have a talk with her face to face.
wǒ gosu tā wǒ jish li zhǎo wǒ nǚpngyou de,
xiǎng h tā dāngmin tntn.
 
王浩说, 她下个月就结婚了,
让我死了这条心.
Then Wang Hao said, She already has her wedding planned for next month.
Youd better wake up and face reality.
wng ho shuō, tā xigyu ji jihūn le,
rng wǒ sǐ le zh tio xīn.
 
我的脑海里回想起婚礼上王浩转交给我的他送的贺礼和祝福。 I still remembered how Wang Hao had passed his blessing and wedding gift to me on my wedding day.
wǒ de nǎohǎi lǐ hu xiǎngqǐ hūnlǐ shng wng ho zhunjiāo gěi wǒ de tā sng de hlǐ h zhf。  
婚礼后我问王浩他人呢? After the wedding, I asked Wang Hao, Where was he?
hūnlǐ hu wǒ wn wng ho tārn ne?  
王浩说是他托人带来的,他本人并没有来。 Wang Hao explained how he had asked someone to bring the wedding gift to me, because he had been unable to come himself.
wng ho shuō sh tā tuō rn dili de, tā běnrn bng miyǒu li。  
我的胸口开始隐隐作痛。。。
我继续听他把故事讲完。
My heart started to ache.
I waited for him to finish the story.
wǒ de xiōngkǒu kāishǐ yǐnyǐn zutng。。。
wǒ jx tīng tā bǎ gshi jiǎng wn。
 

9  
我说王浩,你不要当我面编瞎话!
她答应过等我的.
他接着说下去。
I told Wang Hao not to make joke about this;
She had promised me she would wait for me to find her again.
He continued.
wǒ shuō wng ho, nǐ byo dāng wǒ min biān xiā hu! t
ā dāying gu děng wǒ de.
tā jiēzhe shuō xiq。
 
王浩二话没说,
把你的结婚请柬递给我看。
那上面清清楚楚地写着你和另一个男人的名字。
Wang Hao didnt waste words on that.
He showed me your wedding invitation right away.
On that invitation letter, your name and another mans name was clearly printed together.
wng ho rhu mi shuō,
bǎ nǐ de jihūn qǐngjiǎn d gěi wǒ kn。
n shngmian qīng qīngchu chǔ de xiě zhe nǐ h lngyī g nnrn de mngzi。
 
我拿着那张纸就往外走,
我当时脑子一片空白,
只想着要马上见到你, 越快越好.
I grabbed that piece of paper and stepped outside of the door.
My mind went blank all of a sudden.
All that I wanted to do at that moment was to see you, the sooner the better.
wǒ n zhe n zhāng zhǐ ji wǎngwi zǒu,
wǒ dāngsh nǎozi yīpin kngbi,
zhǐ xiǎng zhe yo mǎshng jindo nǐ, yukuiyuhǎo.
 
王浩死死地抱着我, 说我是个傻子,
这个时候去找人家干什么?
Wang Hao held me back with all his might. He called me an idiot,
saying what was the point of meeting you under those circumstances.
wng ho sǐsǐ d bo zhe wǒ, shuō wǒ sh g shǎzi,
zhge shhou q zhǎo rnjiā gnshnme?
 
我象疯了一样把他甩开, 骂他多管闲事. I pushed him away like a mad man, I told him to stay out of my business.
wǒ xing fēng le yīyng bǎ tā shuǎikāi, m tā duōguǎnxinsh.  
我冲下楼梯, 王浩一路跟着我. I rushed down the stairs. Wang Hao followed me closely.
wǒ chōng xi lutī, wng ho yīl gēnzhe wǒ.  
我到半路上才想起你已经不在家里住了. On my way to your home, I suddenly remembered that you did not live there anymore.
wǒ do bn lshang ci xiǎngqǐ nǐ yǐjīng b zi jiālǐ zh le.  
我回头抓住王浩的衣领, 让他告诉我你的住处. I turned around and grabbed Wang Hao, and I demanded that he tell me your address.
wǒ hutu zhuāzh wng ho de yīlǐng, rng tā gosu wǒ nǐ de zhch.  
王浩一拳打在我的脸上. Wang Hao punched me right in the face.
wng ho yī qundǎ zi wǒ de liǎn shng.  
说要让我清醒清醒.
我说我清醒地知道我的女朋友就要跟别的男人结婚了,
你还要我怎么清醒?!
He told me to wake up.
I said I was awake enough to know that my girlfriend would soon marry another man,
how much more awake did you want me to be?
shuō yo rng wǒ qīngxǐng qīngxǐng.
wǒ shuō wǒ qīngxǐng d zhīdo wǒ de nǚpngyou jiyo gēn bide nnrn jihūn le,
nǐ hi yo wǒ zěnme qīngxǐng?!
 
王浩对我吼:
如果你真爱她, 你不希望她幸福吗?
Wang Hao shouted back,
If you do love her, dont you want her to be happy?
wng ho du wǒ hǒu:
rguǒ nǐ zhēni tā, nǐ b xīwng tā xngf ma?
 
他把我问住了. His question caught me up short.
tā bǎ wǒ wnzh le.  
她幸福吗?我问王浩. Is she happy?, I asked him.
tā xngf ma? wǒ wn wng ho.  
王浩点点头. 他说他见过你们在一起, 很快乐. Wang Hao nodded. He said he had seen you two together, you were very happy.
wng ho diǎndiǎntu. tā shuō tā jin gu nǐmen ziyīqǐ, hěn kuil.  
那一刻, 我的心象被掏空一样难受. At that moment, I felt as if my heart was gouged out.
n yī k, wǒ de xīn xing bi tāo-kōng yīyng nnshu.  
后来的事情现在想来都很模糊了. The days that followed were vague in my memories.
huli de shqing xinzi xiǎngli dōu hěn mhu le.  
我在王浩那儿大醉了几场,
给你留下一份贺礼就回去了.
I got drunk a few times at Wang Haos.
Then I left a wedding gift for you and left.
wǒ zi wng ho nr d zu le jǐ chǎng,
gěi nǐ lixi yī fn hlǐ ji huqu le.
 
他就此打住, 没有再说下去。 He stopped right there.
tā jicǐ dǎ zh, miyǒu zishuō xiq。  
在不知不觉中,我的脸颊已湿。 My face had gone wet without my awareness.
zi bzhībju zhōng, wǒ de liǎnji yǐ shī。  
我感到从未有过的虚弱。
我伸手扶住湖边的长椅,缓缓地坐下来。
I felt a weakness that Ive never felt before.
I reached out my hand to the chair beside the river and slowly sat down.
wǒ gǎndo cngwi yǒu gu de xūru。
wǒ shēnshǒu f zh hbiān de chngyǐ, huǎnhuǎn de zu xilai。
 

10  
你怎么了?他问。 Are you OK?, he asked.
nǐ zěnmele? tā wn。  
对不起。。我当时以为,你早就把我忘了。 Im sorry I thought you had already forgot about me.
dubuqǐ。。 wǒ dāngsh yǐwi, nǐ zǎoji bǎ wǒ wng le。  
我的心好痛。。。
在我最痛苦的时候,他给了我温暖,
让我明白,人必须面对现实。
I was heartbroken
When I suffered, he (my current husband) comforted me,
he helped me to understand that I had to face the reality.
wǒ de xīn hǎo tng。。。
zi wǒ zu tngkǔ de shhou, tā gěi le wǒ wēnnuǎn,
rng wǒ mngbai, rn bxū mindu xinsh。
 
于是, 我选择了现实。
 我不争气的眼泪开始不住地流。
So I accepted the reality.
I couldnt stop my hopeless tears.
ysh, wǒ xuǎnz le xinsh。
wǒ bzhēngq de yǎnli kāishǐ bzh de li。
 
他靠着我坐下,
把一只手伸到我的面前,可以吗?
He sit down beside me,
opened one hand in front of me and asked, May I?
tā ko zhe wǒ zuxia,
bǎ yī zhǐ shǒu shēn do wǒ de minqin: kěyǐ ma?
 

我把手放进他的掌心。
他的手还是那样地滚烫有力。

I placed my hand in his palm.
He still had the warm and strong grip as before.
wǒ bǎshǒu fngjn tā de zhǎngxīn。
tā de shǒu hishi nyng d gǔntng yǒul。
 
他握着我的手,看着我的眼睛说, He held my hand, looked into my eyes and said,
tā w zhe wǒ de shǒu, kn zhe wǒ de yǎnjing shuō,  
我只想让你知道,过去的都过去了,
只要你现在幸福,我就很开心了。明白吗?
I only want you to know that, all that happened in the past has passed.
As long as you are happy now, I am happy. Understand?
wǒ zhǐ xiǎng rng nǐ zhīdo, guqu de dōu guqu le,
zhǐyo nǐ xinzi xngf, wǒ ji hěn kāixīn le。 mngbai ma?
 
我冲他点了点头。 I nodded at him.
wǒ chōng tā diǎn le diǎntu。  
他轻轻放开我的手,起身向湖水走去。 He gently let go of my hand, stood up and walked down to the river.
tā qīngqīng fngkāi wǒ de shǒu, qǐshēn xing h shuǐ zǒuq。  
他的身影在湖边停了下来, His stopped at the riverside,
tā de shēnyǐng zi hbiān tng le xilai,  
这个城市我都快认不出来了,
可是这湖,还是那么美。
I hardly can recognize this city today,
but this river is just as beautiful as it used to be.
zhge chngsh wǒ dōu kui rn b chūli le,
kěsh zh h, hishi nme měi。
 
我走上前,从背后轻柔地抱住他。 I walked towards him and hugged him gently from behind.
wǒ zǒu shngqin, cng bihu qīngru de bo zh tā。  
让我再抱你一次,就一次, 可以吗? Please, let me hug you again, just once, may I?
rng wǒ zi bo nǐ yīc, ji yīc, kěyǐ ma?  
我就这样抱着他, 什么也不想,
让湖水和夜色静静地陪伴着我们.
I ceased all my thoughts, and hugged him just like that.
The quiet river and the quiet night were our company.
wǒ ji zhyng bo zhe tā, shnme yě bxiǎng,
rng h shuǐ h ys jng jng d pibn zhe wǒmen.
 
这一晚是属于十三年前的,
是属于长青湖的记忆里的.
That night belongs to thirteen years ago,
to the memories of Chang Qing river.
zh yī wǎn sh shǔy sh sān ninqin de,
sh shǔy chng qīng h de jy lǐ de.
 
它不属于今天, 不属于这个时代. It doesnt belong to today, to this life.
tā b shǔy jīntiān, b shǔy zhge shdi.  
   
我们挥手作了别,
两部出租车驶向了不同的方向.
At last we waved goodbye to each other.
Two taxis drove to opposite directions.
wǒmen huīshǒu zu le bi,
liǎng b chūzūchē shǐ xing le btng de fāngxing.
 
他提出送我, 我说不要.
就让我们在长青湖畔告别.
He offered to send me home, I said, No.
Lets say goodbye right beside Chang Qing river.
tā tchū sng wǒ, wǒ shuō byo.
ji rng wǒmen zi chng qīng h pn gobi.
 
我们的故事如果有一个结尾,
那就让它结束在长青湖畔.
If there were an ending in our story,
please let it end at Chang Qing river.
wǒmen de gshi rguǒ yǒu yī g jiwěi,
n ji rng tā jish zi chng qīng h pn.
 
我们很默契地都没有留下对方的联系方式. None of us asked for the others contact information.
wǒmen hěn mq de dōu miyǒu lixi dufāng de linx fāngsh.  

11  
那天晚上我回到家,
女儿还没睡,
她扑到我的怀里, 吵着要听故事.
When I came back home that night,
my daughter was still awake.
The moment she saw me back, she ran into my arms and asked for stories.
ntiān wǎnshang wǒ hudo jiā,
nǚr hi mi shu,
tā pū do wǒ de hui lǐ, chǎo zhe yo tīng gshi.
 
累了一天的老公看我回来就呼呼大睡了. My husband was exhausted after a very long day, the time he saw me he fell asleep right away.
li le yī tiān de lǎogong kn wǒ hulai ji hūhū d shu le.  
我搂着熟睡的女儿,
想到他明天一早就要飞回南方.
While my daughter slept soundly in my arms,
I thought about him, the man who would fly back to the south the next morning.
wǒ lǒu zhe shshu de nǚr,
xiǎngdo tā mngtiān yīzǎo jiyo fēi hu nnfāng.
 
我在心里默默地祷告,
祷告他的婚后生活也能美满,
也能在不久的将来,
拥有一个长得象他的健康可爱的孩子.
I quietly made a wish in my heart.
I wished him to have a happy and loving marriage.
I wished someday soon
he would be able to have a bouncing baby of his own that looked just like him.
wǒ zi xīn lǐ mm de dǎogo,
dǎogo tā de hūn hu shēnghu yě nng měimǎn,
yě nng zi bjiǔ de jiāngli,
yōngyǒu yī g zhǎngde xing tā de jinkāng kěi de hizi.
 
现在每每在人海中行走,
我都会想起我身后的那双眼睛.
Every now and then, while I walk in the crowd,
I will think of those eyes behind me.

xinzi měiměi zi rnhǎi zhōng xngzǒu,
wǒ doū hu xiǎngqǐ wǒ shēnhu de n shuāng yǎnjing.

 
那眼里的温存和忧郁,
总是不断地提醒我,让我更加珍惜生活,
珍惜身边的人,
The gentleness and sensation in them
will keep reminding me to appreciate the life that I have,
the people that are around me.
n yǎn lǐ de wēncn h yōuy,
zǒngsh bdun de txǐng wǒ, rng wǒ gngjiā zhēnxī shēnghu,
zhēnxī shēnbiān de rn,
 
让我更努力地去爱, 去宽容。 They will remind me to become more loving and forgiving.
rng wǒ gng nǔl de q i, q kuānrng。  
全文完 The End
qunwn wn  

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Mandarin 2008-2017